There's no such thing as fairy tales.

I haven't visited in a while. I've missed this katieog blog. I've been addicted to tumblr though. It's really cool, and I like it. I can spend hours looking at quotes and pictures. Anyways.

My birthday is in practically a day. I'm going to be eighteen years old.

But what does that really mean?

I feel like everyone gets so excited for birthdays. People get so psyched for 16, 18, 21. But really. When I turned sixteen, nothing happened. I was of driving age, but I couldn't get my license. I didn't even have my permit. Now, I am turning eighteen. But how does that affect my life?

I look at it. Hey, I can vote. Hey, I am adult, and I can sign my own permission slips. I can also buy cigarettes and lottery tickets, but those really don't matter to me.

But hey, I am adult. There are so many rules that apply to me now. I can go to adult prison. I can be charged for a hell of a lot more things.

Fuck.

I feel like everything is crumbling beneath my feet. My grades. My dignity. My life. My emotions. My confidence (or however much was there before). And now.. now what do I do?

I know I shouldn't be complaining. Sometimes it's hard to bundle up so much shit. And I just need to say I'm tired of it.

And I guess I need to study more. Try harder. But it's not like I'm not trying, and that is what is pissing me off.

I haven't started college apps. Fuckk.

I used to blog almost every single day... sometimes even more than that! Whenever I was angry, whenever I was sad, whenever I wanted to procrastinate, etc... I had my blogs to fall back on. But now, now I am getting lazy.

Sometimes I just want to keep all of my feelings and emotions in instead of pouring them out into entries.

I used to think about life and what-not. What is the meaning of life? I don't have enough time for that... even though the meaning of life is probably more important than one math homework assignment. Priorities. It's hard to choose.

July 28th was the last time I blogged here. That's a long time.

I need to do homework.

I need to be a better person.

I need to do a lot of things.

What else is new?

Oh yeah. I need to do college applications. That's new.

**So I just read some of my old entries from May. Hecka deep. What happened to me? I feel like I change every few weeks. I wish I was stable. This is one of the things I dislike about being a kid. I don't have a stable state of mind.

But then again, I am terrified of growing up. My eighteenth birthday is in less than two months now. I will be an adult. I still feel like I'm thirteen. I mean.. I still wish I was thirteen.

La vie n'est pas souvent ce qu'on voudrait. Mais on doit se battre contre les obstacles. Et moi, bien que je me plains tout le temps, je ne sais rien. Je connais trop de personnes qui devraient se plaindre plus.

Wow. I haven't done French in so long. Very rusty.

Aussies call breakfast brekky. Hecka cool, no?

Australia was definitely a highlight of my summer, if not THE highlight. Of course I wish I spoke Vietnamese, so I could communicate with Kevin's relatives, but at least he translated for me. Touring by ourselves in Melbourne was fun. Kevin was daring, and I was willing, so we flew to Sydney at 6 in the morning to tour there. It was just the two of us, and we toured. Then we stayed in a hotel and went out the next day. The ferry rides were amazing. My only regret about Sydney is that I brought too much clothes (we had to carry everything on our backs), and it was way warmer there than Melbourne. (Melbourne=10 degrees colder than SF; Sydney=10 degrees warmer).

I miss Australia.